I’m sick and tired of being on my own. Most of the time I’m fine. Some of the time I even quite enjoy it. But at this precise moment in time I’m fed up with it. I’ve had enough.
The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do. They’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action. And you will! But never forget, that on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever. You see the Universe has a plan; and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working… Making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be... Exactly when you’re supposed to be there. The right place. At the right time.
Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it’s too late.
Thank you for waiting.
Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. Thank God I was online at that time that you said hi to me. Thank God I even went on Facebook. Thank God for being at the right place, at the right time.
"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha. That's how I feel about you. I've witnessed what you're capable of doing, the amazing things you do. You've changed my life.
I’ve learned a lot this month... I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.
I've learned a lot about the balance between negativity and positivity. I learned that in some circumstances, there will always be more positive than negative. There’s always going to be bad stuff out there. But here’s the amazing thing — light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can’t stick the dark into the light. Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Before you came, I liked too many things and got all confused and hung up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. I now choose to have selective hearing. When someone gives me negative criticism (the kind that doesn't help or help in any constructive way at all) or tells me that I can't do something.. I'm sorry, but I can't hear you. I won't let someone tell me no, when they don't have the power to say yes.
I've learned that the best comeback is kindness. The best retaliation you can do is to kill them with kindness. You may be sorry that you spoke, sorry you stayed or went, sorry you won or lost, sorry so much was spent. But as you go through life, you’ll find – you’re never sorry you were kind.
But the truth is, everyone is going to hurt you no matter what. You just have to find the people worth suffering for.
You're one of the very few (Ben and my grandpa if he was alive ) that I'd take a bullet for. I'd die for you.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.
Conan O'Brien once said, "nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you. Amazing things will happen."
All my life I’ve felt like there was some part of me missing and I felt that everyone could tell, like there was some hole in me and everyone could see through it, like I wasn’t finished or something. I worked really hard to find something or someone to fill up that unknown empty void that I always had vacant. "Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done. " - Louis D. Brandeis. I always thought that I'd always feel empty, and that I'd never fill up that void. It was impossible. Until I met you.
How do I know that it was because of you? Because with other "boys", I never really thought anything through. I think things thoroughly through with you. For example, I know that even though we're going through this very difficult challenge, it has an end. After all, you can’t truly be happy if you’ve never known pain. You can’t truly feel joy if you’ve never felt heartbreak. You can’t really know what its like to be filled unless you’ve been empty. And here’s the other thing: sometimes in life seasons don’t come in order instead of fall, winter, spring, summer, we get three winters in a row. But that doesn’t mean spring won’t come eventually.
And since then, since I've met you, you've taught me so many things. Things such as, it’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you. The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. I learned that through your lectures. That's why I love to hear you talk. I love to learn, and I've learned to go confidently in the direction of my dreams, and to live the life I have imagined. Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.
Just like this paper.
I'd like to tell the story that’s been growing in my heart, the characters I can’t keep out of my head, the tale story that speaks to me, that pops into my head during my daily commute, that wakes me up in the morning.
Everyday I'm with you, constantly, I always have that voice in my head questioning me. "You know when transformation happens? Right now. It’s a present activity. Who is the new you? Show me the new you." I'm always constantly changing myself. Little by little, or big portions in short period of time. Nevertheless, always changing. Becoming step by step, -- hopefully to be classified as -- a woman.
I won't waste my time trying to figure out what I'm going to do now that I have more time for my individual development. Someone who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. I may not know exactly where I'm going, exactly what kind of woman I'm going to be, but any road will get me there.
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it. After seven months, when my transformation has been done, and I get to hold you and show my love for you physically again, I will be ecstatic. I will be over the edge with joy because I know I earned it. Because it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
I'll admit, it's hard to be around you in public. It's hard to pretend that I'm perfectly content having a minimum of thirty centimetres of space in between us. It's hard. Deep in my heart I’m concealing things that I’m longing to say. Scared to confess what I’m feeling - frightened you’ll slip away. I'm so scared that I'll make a mistake of doing something, and you'll be forced to distance yourself from me. I'd be hurt, but I'd understand. It's for your safety. I'd understand.
I know that right now isn't where I'd most like to be. But I also know that life may not lead me where I want, but I have faith that I am exactly where I was meant to be. There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
I choose to move forward.
Because when you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through. I understand that too. Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
I'm glad that I don't get completely succomed into my acting. It’s strength to show vulnerability, only strong people can accept when they’re hurting. Your emotions exist for a reason. Your tears don’t make you weak, your tears are a sign of strength. Your feelings exist for a reason, they tell you when things are out of balance, when you’re going in the wrong direction. They’re a compass, they’re meant to be felt and expressed and moved through so that you can grow.
The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain. But you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can’t outrun it and life always makes more.
I can see paradise through this. If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it.
I love that we understand each other. Even without the words. Too many people seem to believe that silence is a void that needs to be filled, even if nothing important will be said.
I love how you treat me. You treat me as a woman. You treat me as if love is a behaviour, and not a feeling. It's the way you treat me everyday, all day. Not just when your life is going well. I can tell that you know that there is a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in doing something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses.
I adore how you don't care about my flaws, that to you, the best thing I have are my eyes. My grandfather once told me, "for beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."
We're in this together. I'm there step by step. Remember, I promised you that,
"When you're down and have no one to run to
Looking for a friend, a trust-worthy person who
You can tell all your troubles to; I'll be right beside you
I promise
When you lose your balance
Not sure where to find guidance
Losing control of your life
And the only thing your vision runs on is that knife
Take the knife
And cut me
I'd take all the pain for you happily
I promise
On the days when it's dark, and you can't find your way home
I'll be the northern star in your dark night, so you no longer have to roam
I promise
When you're lost and want to turn back
Don't
Keep going
Just listen for the footsteps behind you
I'll be there to support you
I promise
I'll always be two-steps behind you."
We are both committed to making this work, I know that. That's how I know we'll make it though this.
I love you. Forever and for always.
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